Greta Garbo's example, outsized self-importance (even for Hollywood), and losing a true national treasure
Whatever her reasons for leaving the spotlight, she had to have suspected that silence would ensure a stellar reputation. Some of our contemporary celebrities would do well to emulate Garbo.
Apologies for my tardiness, dear reader, but as much as I love writing essays to publish here, there are higher priorities. Evenings are reserved for me to spend with my wife, even if all we do is watch old movies.
In any event, yesterday marked Day 7 of the most insignificant and inconsequential work stoppage in the history of the United States in the post-industrial revolution era.
Each day since it began one week ago, there has been less and less to mock and ridicule, and I was beginning to feel like Forrest Gump when he first began shrimping.
I’m guessing Variety is protecting those on strike by not filing stories with quotes from those on the picket line, because the repeated instances of a complete lack of self-awareness would result in a spike of repetitive-motion injuries of the necks of readers from shaking their heads, as you are about to learn.
Thank God for The Hollywood Reporter coming to the rescue!
‘Netflix made a huge amount of profit this last quarter,’ Fonda told a group of gathered reporters. ‘Have you seen the houses they live in? Have you seen the vacations they take? I don’t know about Netflix, but just in general.’
Excellent point, Jane! Since you brought it up, let’s see the house in which you live:
She continued, ‘…And that’s why unions are so important…And what we’re fighting for here, it’s really for all the workers in all the sectors. We have to stand together and we have to make unions stronger.’
Is that so? Just in case you were wondering, Jane Fonda’s net worth in 2023 is $210MM. This, the result of various famous roles in movies and television shows, for which she has charged a high fee for her performances.1
Is that why you leveraged your cachet at the height of your career? Were your fellow union brothers and sisters in all industries top of mind all those years? I’m having a hard time believing that miner in West Virginia, or that assembly-line worker in Belvedere, Illinois, occupied any room in your head.
But wait – it gets better…
As one of the first acting icons to publicly hit the picket line, Tomlin noted the importance of showing their support to the guild. ‘For our fellow actors, it means a lot that we come out,’ the Emmy winner told THR.
Oh. My. God. The condescension. Where would the striking writers, actors, and actresses be had those two octogenarians not made a token appearance?
They would be in the same circumstances they’ve been in since Friday, last.
Yes, it means so much to your fellow actors and actresses in the union for you, whose net worth is $20MM, to show up for part of a day, and then return to your comfortable, spacious abode:
Granted, your net worth is a fraction of your gal-pal Jane’s, but still – not too bad for a comedienne whose career high-water mark was appearing on, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In2.
Nonetheless, just what does it mean to the actress who has managed a handful (at best) of jobs, and now has virtually no chance of ever working as one, again? She has to hope that between gigs with Über and perhaps Über Eats, DoorDash or GrubHub, and whatever hours she can pick up at Starbucks, Target, or another retailer that she’ll be able to make rent this month.
As for how these events will impact the future of Hollywood at large, Tomlin noted that ‘it’s pretty tenuous.’ She added, ‘I worry about the whole industry. I worry about the country. Believe me, I worry about the globe. What are we gonna do? What if Trump gets in again?’
Yes. Trump. That is so much more critical than being able to pay rent, put food on the table, gas in the car. Trump elected, again. Oh, the horror.
Can you hear the contempt for most of the rest of America?
Well, Lily, given how close you are to the end, I doubt you’ll have to worry about it for much longer.
If what Gina Yashere said is true, then 99.8% of all actors in Hollywood are not Meryl Streep and Tom Cruise – and that means that most are now truly and royally screwed.
Not to demonstrate a breathtaking grasp of the obvious, but yes, the decision to pursue such a career is one he or she freely made. Since Hollywood is a union town, if one wants to have any shot at all, one must join the union.
Still, you root for these folks – they’re like salmon swimming upstream, and only a few get there before they die. That’s just it – making one’s way in any career is difficult enough, today. All the unions and their combined strike has done is make it that much more so.
Y’know who have been conspicuous by their absence, and loud in their silence? The Nepo Babies3 – how come we haven’t heard from the likes of Colin Hanks, Bryce Dallas Howard, John Owen Lowe, Emma Roberts, Scott Caan, or Dan Levy?
‘Hollywood is on strike, entertainers are fighting for residuals and no one will promote anything. Why isn’t reality TV on strike?’ asked Frankel, who starred in eight seasons of the Bravo reality franchise before exiting in 2019.
“Why isn’t reality TV on strike?”
Seriously? Well, reality TV isn’t covered by union rules, so they get to continue working, and getting paid. They may be the Crash Davises4 of the TV entertainment world, but they can still pay their bills.
It reminds me of when Crash first appears in the office of Joe Reardon, manager of the Durham Bulls. The minor-league ‘A’ level ball club is just one step above the rookie leagues:
Crash Davis: I'm too old for this shit. Why the hell am I back in A ball?
Joe Reardon: 'Cause of Ebby Calvin LaLoosh. Big club's got a hundred grand in him.
Larry: He's got a million dollar arm, and a five cent head.
Joe Reardon: Had a gun on him tonight. The last five pitched he threw were faster that the first five, He has the best young arm I've seen in 30 years. You've been around. You're smart, professional. We want you to mature the kid. We want you to room with him on the road, stay on his case all year. He could go all the way.
Crash Davis: Where can I go?
Joe Reardon: You can keep going to the ballpark, and keep getting paid to do it. Beats the hell out of working at Sears.
Again, wait – it gets even better…
‘During the last writers strike, we were providing all the entertainment, and that’s really when the gold rush of reality TV started.’
You read that correctly.
Apparently, reality TV only really became popular when she was involved in it. She seems like someone who could be devastated by the truth, so let’s not tell her that before 2011, there were a total of fifty reality TV shows on different networks for varying lengths of time5.
‘We’ve always been the losers,’ she said...‘Unscripted talent aka “reality stars” should have a union or simply be treated fairly and valued.’
Not a shred of self-awareness, or any sense of irony.
If I thought she could comprehend the principle, I’d explain that if unscripted talent had a union, not only would it not be treated fairly, it would not be valued – just like your fellow actors and actresses in the union, now – out of work.
I’m guessing this would be the likely response.
I’m tellin’ ya – actors speaking their minds out loud with no guard rails is gold!
In, Chaplin, there is a scene near the end of the film in which he’s speaking with someone regarding actors talking in movies. Chaplin is mocking it by asking the young man to imagine Nijinsky narrating his every move while performing in any ballet in which he’s danced.
There was undoubtedly a great deal of creative license taken in writing that scene, and even if such a conversation ever took place, it’s still a pretty good bet that his view of actors talking in movies was rather dim.
If true, then he was prescient in expressing such a sentiment – even more so of actors talking outside of movies. He was right.
If they can use 100 years of active performances to train their generative AI models and create their little Frankenstein characters or “actors,” you’re over. There’s a lot of other elements — corporate greed is just out of control — but that’s the big difference between then and now.
Wrong, Mallory. There has never been a time when corporate greed wasn’t out of control. Where it is not out of control is in industries and markets where there is healthy competition – but even then, that may not be entirely true (see, Hollywood). Regardless of the industry, my fellow Substack writer, A Duck on a Bike, put it best:
I have said it before, and it bears saying again: If a machine can do your job, it will.
His on-target commentary appears in a response to another excellent essay:
‘If generative AI started in the beginning of the 20th century, we would never have had jazz, rock ’n’ roll, film noir. That’s what it stops. There are some useful applications to it — I don’t know of that many — but pulling it into the arts is absolutely the wrong direction.’
The lack of perspective is mind-boggling. Is she really equating acting in a film or a TV show with music – music composition, to be specific – a true art form?
The narcissism is strong with this one.
On a truly sad note, Tony Bennett passed away, yesterday.
…Sinatra was quoted in Life magazine: ‘For my money, Tony Bennett is the best singer in the world. He excites me when I watch him, he moves me. He’s the singer who gets across what the composer had in mind, and probably a little more. There’s a feeling in back of it.’
A grateful Bennett said years later: ‘Sinatra’s fans became interested in me, and I sold out all over the world. He did change my career. I owe him so much.’
That, ladies and gentlemen, is class on class.
That’s all for today, dear reader. I hope this one-week anniversary edition of the strike heard nowhere around the world has been an enjoyable read.
Until next time…
"‘If generative AI started in the beginning of the 20th century, we would never have had jazz, rock ’n’ roll, film noir. That’s what it stops." Name me one truly inventive film not based on previously published material (John Wick and Guardians of the Galaxy don't count because they are based on, as I said, previously published material). AI can't be anymore derivative and repetitive than what we have now, and they know it. That's why they're fighting so hard.
So studio execs only work if they produce profits. They are where the buck stops. Does that excuse a hundred mil a year in compensation? *shrug* But I'm not sure what excuses $20 million for a movie for simply acting in it. I can't help but think all those underlings these people are so worried about *now* would have made more money in the past if studio execs hadn't been trying to budget films with seven- and eight-figure payouts for "stars." And studio execs wouldn't be looking for ways to cut costs if "stars" hadn't demanded such high payouts. (Okay, well, they probably would, but the hypocrisy wouldn't be so rank.)
And this fixation on Trump? Good grief.